I'm talkative. I like to communicate. That's how we establish bonds with others, not just exchange information, jokes, share secrets or gossip of some sort.
The thing is, communication can also be excessive.
If someone like me tries not to step on someone else's toes or go too far when in a delicate moment - trying to hold back, stepping away from their usual pattern - eventually gets the feeling they didn't say what they wanted to say or ask what they wanted to ask.
So, things can get messy then - because one can overcompensate. When trying to say what we really wanted to say in the first place (or ask what we really wanted to ask), we can go further than we originally wanted, risking to alienate people we wanted to connect or tighten our bonds with.
It can be even worse if we apologize too much after we realize we overstepped the thin boundary between "communicating" and "invading others' personal space".
Yes, there is a thing as apologizing too much, didn't you know? It really does.
Been there, done that... one big mistake.
We become estranged from those we wanted to be close to.
And then it might take a long time to even get to the point where we once were before - if ever.
Communication is a harsh mistress - miscommunication's a bitch. And the first can become the second in the blink of an eye.
It was hard the first time - harder than I ever thought.
Hopefully I got the second time around back on track before it was too late.
I'm talkative and sometimes I talk too much. I guess my saving grace is that I am sincere and do and act and live wholeheartedly; people who know me know that when I'm not telling jokes or so, what comes out of my mouth is actually coming out of my heart. Too bad some people can't handle that much sincerity.
But then again, it's their loss. I wouldn't trade it for their posture, tsk tsk, no way jose. Those who stick with me after they've known my quirks are those worth keeping. And I'd go to hell and back to keep them close and make sure they know how much I cherish them. They're that special.
So here's to you, dear friends, special friends who can get over the miscommunication and understand what I feel rather than some silly things I might say. Thank you for being in my life.
I love you.